The previous blog was written on Friday 8th Feb but I forgot to post it. In a phone conversation with a friend who is a physiotherapist on the morning of Saturday 9th Feb she said she felt I needed an X-ray on my ankle as the pain had got worse and spread up my leg. After 4 hours in A&E I left with a very attractive black leg brace up to my knee with the news that I had fractured my Fibula!
I switched on Premier Christian radio just over a week ago to hear a lady called Liz Carter talking about her book "Catching Contentment". I felt it was a real "Godincidence" as I hadn't listened to the radio station for months and, of course, our conference is called "Finding Contentment". Liz suffers from an incurable chronic lung disease. She had to give up teaching and often spends long periods of time in hospital. I am half way through her book and she is very honest. Grasping contentment is not easy. I know my leg will heal, she is convinced she will not be but holds on to the hope of a life yet to come whilst making the most of this one. She starts each section of her book with a poem. This is from Part 1: Confident Contentment.
Eat, drink and be merry for this is all there is.
That's what they say.
No Meaning.
No Purpose.
Nothing.
So party while you can!
But then I bend under the weight
Of the mystery of me, unsolved,
Of the value of me, unmeasured.
Is God God? Is God good?
I reach for confidence through the leaden sky,
And see it hurled at me,
Peace beyond understanding
In doubt-tinged certainty.
In the Psalms there is many occasion when the Psalmist feels abandoned and forgotten by God, (Psalm 77:7-9 for example), but nearly always by the end he is praising God and remembering His goodness in the past (Psalm 77:11-12) By taking the focus off ourselves ("woe is me!") and fixing it on the one who gives us life and choosing to remember doesn't necessarily change the situation but it changes our perspective.
So today I choose to remember His goodness to me and I am confident He is with me in all circumstances. Tomorrow I may have a wobbly moment and forget for a while but He will never forget me!
