Last week I slipped on a rather steep hill whilst walking the dogs, badly spraining my ankle. It took nearly an hour to walk to the nearest house, which happened to be that of my friend and Associate Vicar in the Parish I live in.
A normally very busy person I have been frustrated that all I have done for five days is sit with my leg up with ice on it but God uses all circumstances and I can almost hear Him say "So now I have your full attention!" You see one of the reasons that I am such a busy person is I try and avoid these "quiet times" with God. Normally I can say "Too busy to talk today, Father, maybe tomorrow?" And yet for a very long time I have known that this is exactly what I need to do, the trouble is, in my experience, that these can be heart searching, painful times. My "God" time is usually whilst walking the dogs and we have had some very special times together, with Him revealing all sorts of things to me, but inevitably we are interrupted by other dog walkers or friends I bump in to. Not quite the same as sitting in silence, just Him and me.......
But it has been so special (and painful). It happened to be 12 years since my husband died on Monday which was accentuated by receiving a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my sons saying they are thinking of me. They also lost a father far too early in their lives. By keeping busy I have not allowed myself to really grieve so this has been a time of remembering and letting go. At my husband's memorial service a young girl sang "I Can Only Imagine" for us and I recently bought the movie about the writing of the song which I watched yesterday. Again it was a painful experience but the film was about redemption and I know my husband is redeemed and dancing in the Courts of the Lord as in Psalm 84. My husband said to me once that Jesus didn't want him because he wasn't good enough. Now he knows it was nothing to do with anything he did or didn't do. Jesus did it all for him on the cross.
I am now looking forward to more special times with my Father and, maybe, when my ankle heals, I will still take time out to "Be Still".
